Tantrums
The truth is my children really haven’t had many tantrums. I have been lucky, because with twins usually one sets the other off. They have had a couple, in public mostly (of course!) and I thought I have handled it correctly. I have seem some major tantrums in public before and by kids who are old enough not to be throwing tantrums anymore. What sets off a child to get to a tantrum state and how do you diffuse the situation?
Tantrums usually occur when a child wants something and is frustrated because they cannot have it right away. The problem is with each episode the tantrums often get worse in their intensity, duration, and frequency. It is so tempting to just give the child what he wants to stop the behavior, especially if you are in public, but that just teaches the child they will get what they want if they cry long enough or hard enough. Tantrums are a learned behavior.
You need to identify what the triggers are for your child and try and diffuse them before a full out tantrum begins.
If your child throws a fit, then ignore them and even leave the room. Make sure they are safe though, and they are not going to hurt themselves. Make sure they have a safe place to be in while they are having their tantrum. When they are finally calm explain to them why they didn’t get what they wanted, and remind them of a time they did get something they wanted.
Make sure you reinforce their good behaviors throughout the day.
Do you have any tips or tricks for tantrums?
tantrums, parenting, toddlers, terrible twos
July 25th, 2008 at 10:19 am
my daughter is trying out the tantrum thing. she’s pretty good at it, too, but ignoring them makes it end pretty quickly. I was very determined to get my way as a toddler and would throw tantrums where i’d hurt myself to get my way. my grandpa nipped that in the bud by throwing a cold pitcher of water on me, mid-tantrum. That’d probably be considered abuse now, but I never pitched a fit again!
July 25th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Mary, that is so funny, my mom did the same thing to me when i was having a fit and she said I just screamed harder!
I guess it depends on the kid!
July 26th, 2008 at 1:16 am
My kids rarely throw tantrums but when they do, mock crying helps to distract them. I’ll start in with my own silly crying and pretty soon the one throwing the fit will be quiet (and quite convinced that I’m off my rocker).