Parenting Children

There was an article in the NY times a couple of days ago about men who had children later in life whether it was because they remarried or just did not marry until they were much older, now calling themselves SODs (start over Dads).

Why would we judge people and who they fall in love with or when they decided to have children? Are SODs selfish in their pursuit of children despite their age and the fact that many defects can happen to the children of parents who decided to have them later in life? If the amount of of young adults who are “boomeranging” is on the rise, then getting married later in life is a huge possibility.

Perhaps children are at and greater advantage because they are more established in their careers or are more relaxed. Is it fair to a child to have a dad whose life expectancy is 20 years when all of her friend’s fathers have a life expectancy of twice that?
There are so many questions surrounding this new surge of older fathers.

Doesn’t a woman have a right to have a child with her husband no matter what his age? Women are having babies later in life now also.
I am very interested in what you think about SODs.
Do you think it is right/wrong?

SODs, older fathers, children, babies later in life, midlife babies, mothers, fathers, dads, older dads, start over dads, parenting, families, family

This is one of the funniest videos I have seen. This kid sure can move!

breakdancing toddler, dancing kid, toddlers, kid fun

“You look like you are due any day now!” said a nice woman in line behind me at the Baby Gap. I smiled and continued to wait even though my feet were telling me to leave. I didn’t feel like explaining to everyone that I came in contact with that I still had three months to go, I was just so big because I had two babies in my uterus, not one.

Two babies doing the gig on my bladder, two babies who wanted me to eat constantly, two babies that kept getting bigger despite the fact that my belly was stretched to the limit and I hadn’t seen my feet in months. I was huge despite the fact that at 39 weeks I had only gained 19.5 lbs.

Still, people wanted to know when I was due and I took up fibbing to strangers so as not to explain my life story over and over and the questions that always followed:
do you know the sex
are they fraternal/identical
were they natural
do twins run in my family

Then they will tell me of all the twins that reside in their family tree and then all of the twins in their husbands/wife’s family tree. Then when I have just the right amount of information about this stranger’s life and extended family, they will wish me luck “because you are going to need it” and “well, two at once now you are done”.

I know most people mean well, but the conversations were too much for me, the intimate questions and the genealogy lessons were more then my pregnant brain could take, so I would lie and tell people I was due in a few weeks.

After all, I had other things to do like watch my face get more swollen by the day and make sure I always had someone to shave my legs for me.

You know, the important pregnancy stuff.

pregnancy, twins, pregnant

I never thought kids would be excited about anyone else’s birthday besides their own, but my kids surprised me today.
I had a “happy Birthday Mom!” chorus come into my room this morning. I had two overly excited kids give me gifts and not beg to open them for me. My daughter was as excited for my gifts as I was, she was adorable. When I thanked my son after he gave me a gift, he thanked me back.

We have celebrated a weekend of birthdays in this house. My husband’s birthday was on Friday and the kids helped me make a cake for him, and then they selflessly helped him eat it! What good kids.

My children love birthdays their friends, cousins, grandparents, they will help celebrate and be as happy with the day as if they were the ones getting gifts. They are happy children and they love life. They see the positive in everything and just want to make each day as fun as it can be. In this next year of my life, I want to be more like them, I will follow their example about how to live life.

That is the best gift I could ever have received, and it didn’t cost a thing.

birthday, kids, love, moms, what I learned from my kids

This is very eye opening.
Hopefully this will open our eyes to what our children see and are exposed to every day. In life, on television and by their own parents actions.

children see children do, children, parenting, parents, teaching children, teach kids well

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My son walks into the room when I am stuffing hershey kisses in my pocket. He was tipped off by the unmistakable sound (to him!) of candy wrappers swirling around the cabinet.
Damn! He is on to me!

L: Mommy, what do you have?

Me: hmmhmmph?

L: In your hand? What do you have in your hand?

Me: What? Nothing!

L: What is in your mouth?

Me: What? You want to watch a show? Lets put on a show or look! toys, lets play with all of these toys, hey R, look! its R, lets play with R! Haaaaahaaa

L: confused as heck

Me: What am I doing? Hiding chocolates from my child?
It is official, I have turned into my Mother.

chocolate, kids, parenting, moms

Last week a large box arrived at our house. It was filled with easter gifts for our kids and some for the adults from my in laws.
Included was enough candy for all of New Jersey so now I don’t want to put candy in my children’s Easter baskets.
They have enough.

What to do? I decided on putting some yogurt covered raisins, almonds, stickers and tattoos in the plastic eggs instead of candy.

What do you put in your children’s Easter baskets?

Easter, easter candy, easter baskets, kids, parenting, candy, stickers, moms

I was “tagged” to do a real moms post, where you write Real Moms_______ and you fill in the blank and then explain it.

That got me thinking, are there “fake” moms out there? Isn’t everyone “real” whether you planned to be, you never thought you wanted to be or miraculously became a mom?

Real Moms are everywhere.
They are the old lady that everyone is too busy to visit in the nursing home. They are the young teenager who knows her child will have a better life if she gave it up for adoption, even though the decision tore her heart out.
A real mom is the mother who adopted the child that needed a home and loved that child as if it grew in her womb instead of her heart.
Real moms are corporate executives, pilots, cashiers and receptionists.
She is the stay at home mother who gets bored at the park.

A real mom stays home from work when her child is sick and the mom who goes to work after being up all night with a sick child.
She is the grandmother who after raising her own children, is now raising her grandchildren because her daughter cannot.

A real mother is the place you came from.

Every mother in every form is a real mother, she is you and she is me.

real moms, mothers, children, what is a real mom, family, families, moms, grandmothers

Spring is that time of year when I get the inspiration to clean the heck out of my house. The best helper of all the cleaning helpers in the world?
MyDyson vacuum. 5 minutes for mom is sponsering a contest for you to win a new Dyson slim vacuum. I promise you will love it.

Go on, hurry,contest is open until Aril 4th.

My son is a crier.

There, I said it.
That took a lot to admit but he is a crier. I have made it acceptable by using keywords to friends such as “sensitive” or “emotional” which he is, but really? Maybe he is just a crier.

He was always my more emotional child. He would cuddle with me and be my food network watching friend, he was generous with his hugs and kisses and so very loving. His twin sister was always too busy to stop and spread the kisses. She would only sit on your lap for more then 10 seconds when she was sick.

L will cry if you scolded him, he would cry if another child took his toy, he would cry if there were bigger kids on the jungle gym and he was intimidated. I felt myself being frustrated with him, seeing his sensitiveness as a weakness, a trait nobody wants to see in their child.

As their first school year is winding down, I can see the changes in him. Does he still cry? Yes, but it is not every day and it is not for “any” reason anymore. He is more confident and strong. He does not clutch to my leg when I try to leave his classroom, he interacts with all the kids, not just his sister.
I have grown too, I realize that he is not weak, he is strong.

He can cry and that is ok, I will never let myself feel frustrated by it. It is who he is. He is not defined by it but it is a tiny part that comprises his personality.

He is empathetic, loving, sweet and caring and he is undoubtedly one of the greatest people I have ever met.

crying, kids, preschoolers, toddlers, emotional kids, moms, parenting, love

The love between a father and his son:

sailor surprises his son, fathers and sons, dads, children, love,

Check out this hysterical video on how to potty train your kids:

potty training, kids, learnign to use teh potty, funny videos

The choice for me to stay at home with our twins was made for me. My husband was transferred 1.5 hours away from our hometown where all of our friends and family are when I was 8 months pregnant. I would have to leave my job, and there was nobody to watch our kids full or part time unless we put them in daycare. With two infants, the cost of daycare would have taken up 75% of my paycheck and therefore, not financially worth working outside the home.

I am thankful, because I love staying home with my kids and I couldn’t imagine them staying with a stranger all day.

Many mothers chose to continue their career or do not have a choice in the matter. They leave their children in daycare during their working hours and I am sure that must be very hard.

Today, an article in the New York Times caught my eye about children in daycare. An American child care center has found a preschooler who is in day care for at least one year has an increased chance of having behavior problems in grade school up until the sixth grade.
This was despite the child’s gender, parent’s income or the quality of the day care center.

What does this mean? I guess that we need to be more sensitive to children’s development and how hard it may be to transition into grade school.

What do you think of this study?

You can read the entire article from the New York Times here.

daycare, kids in day care, preschoolers, moms, dads, working mothers

My twins go in and out of being picky eaters just like most preschoolers. Sometimes they will eat everything and anything that I have in the house, other times they suddenly are repulsed by granola bars and hate mini bagels.
Those are the times when I start pulling out my hair.

I have a few tricks that gets my kids to eat even when they are on a eating strike.

Kids love to dip anything, put fruit chunks on popsicle sticks and lt them dip their “kebobs” into yogurt.

My children love to dip vegetable sticks into spinach dip that I make. They will eat tons of it and I even serve it for lunch sometimes.

Tortilla chips and salsa is a great snack, one that I even pack for lunch for them.

My sister and I loved celery sticks with cream cheese or peanut butter when we were kids and although at first my kids were not into it, but after watching an episode of Wonder Pets (who eat celery), they now love it.
I add raisins and tell them to eat all of the ants on the log.

Fruit and nut granola in yogurt is one of their everyday favorites and I love it for breakfast or after dinner snack also.

Lastly the new trick in my house to get a child to finish their meal is to tell them not to.
I will say “OK R, that sandwich doesn’t want you to be eaten” ” Don’t you eat it”. That gets her giggling and eating it all up as I feign horror.

[picky eaters, preschoolers, toddlers, snack ideas, parenting ideas, parenting help, meal ideas for kids, moms [/tags]

It was 8pm and both of my children have been in bed for a half an hour. My husband and I were excited to sit down and watch TV together with a little wine.
As we debated which show to watch we heard footsteps. Someone has come downstairs and I know exactly how it is going to play out.

“R, what are you doing out of bed?” I asked.
“I have to ask Daddy something Mommy”
“Daddy, L said we should get out of bed and tell you we can’t sleep and we want to watch a show in L’s room”
“Oh? L said?” my husband asked.
“Yes, Daddy, just one show, just one and then we will go to bed” She told him cocking her head to one side and sparkling those big blue eyes at him.
I knew he was in trouble. BIG trouble.
“Ok, just ONE show though and no fooling around!” he told her trying to sound stern

“Oh now we make bargains with four year olds? I ask my husband
He just turned and smiled. My kids knew who to send down as a representative for their cause and which parent to ask. They know he is more lenient when it comes to things like watching TV or getting chips packed in their lunches.

All I can do is laugh, because he has the daughter and son he always wanted and they have him wrapped around their little fingers.

parenting, Dads, spoiled kids, spoiling kids, life with kids, moms