Bullying
With yesterdays tragedy at Virginia Tech, I am sad for the world that my kids have to live in. I am sad because these shootings didn’t happen forty years ago. What has changed with us as a society or as parents to let it get to where our kids are scared to go to school, or work?
Is it the availability to firearms? The fact that now most households have two working parents?
Or is it that technology has brought bullying to a higher form of school yard torture?
Nine out of 10 elementary school kids have been subjected to physical or psychological bullying by their peers, while six in 10 have been bullies themselves, according to a new study.
That is nothing new, bullies have been around since the beginning of time. If you have ever attending any school you have seen, been the victim of or played a part in bullying.
Often kids were tormented in school, taunted in PE class or laughed at while walking home. Once (s)he got home it was a sanctuary. They could be themselves. Not anymore. With the presence of at least one computer in most homes, bullying was taken to a new level. The bully can write something nasty on your myspace, spread rumors via instant messaging or just plain stalk and harass you virtually. They can call your cell phone, text message cruel lies and torture their victim anywhere at any time of the day. It is all too easy and it has turned deadly, not only in this country but many others.
I am not saying that Virginia Tech shootings were because of bullying, he was obviously a very distrubed man on many levels, but bullying has caused some children to kill themselves or others in an act of revenge.
I know I don’t want to fear for my children’s lives as I place them on a school bus every day. I certainly don’t want to try to explain why human beings do this to each other and I never want to have to tell my kids how to “play dead” if it happens in their classroom.
But, what can we, as parents, do?
Were you bullied? Are your kids being bullied? What do you do to help your kids or prevent it from going to far?
bullys, bullying, teens, mothers, parents, parenting, family life, school, preventing bullying, Virginia Tech shooting, Virginia Tech massacre, school shootings
April 18th, 2007 at 6:45 am
Hi Erinn - You raise big and important issues and responses made here may seem trivial because the issues are so deep. We cannot function from a place of fear and create peace/provide understanding/create safety at the same time. As Dr. Becky Bailey said yesterday in her Conscious Discipline(r)Newsletter, “As our emotions become more intense, our brains generate more questions, complaints and stories of what should be or what should have been done by whom. Bringing doubt and criticism to this moment of pain is not our highest use of “understanding.” Instead, we can choose to move past thoughts of “should have,” “what if,” “what is the world coming to” and “how horrible.” We can choose to move past the intense emotions of shock, despair, fear, anger, hopelessness and grief the best we can. We can choose to find an inner place of “being” understanding.” What we all can do at this time is commit to connect with those we love and commit to connect with children who need our support and safety. Wishing you well — Maggie Macaulay, MS Ed
http://www.wholeheartedparenting.com
April 18th, 2007 at 10:28 am
Maggie, I don’t want to place blame, on the school, on bullying, on the parents of the shooter, but i do want to knwo why all of this is happeneing now, when it was unheard of not so many years ago.
I want to stop it here in my own house.
April 18th, 2007 at 11:40 am
Hi Erinn - I do not know why this is happening today. What I do know is that teaching our children how to handle conflict in a cooperative way, teaching our children empathy so that they more deeply connect with others, and teaching our children what to do if they are bullied are all valuable. Parents make the difference in the next generation of people in the world. That is why I created Whole Hearted Parenting. During the next few months, teleseminars, which are available to anyone in the United States, are coming up on communication, bullying, and conflict resolution. Please visit http://www.wholeheartedparenting.com and click on TELESEMINAR for more. The better we can equip our children in these skills, the more peaceful our world will be.
April 22nd, 2007 at 5:07 am
It’s happening now because because Pres. Bush, Dick Cheney, Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, Wolfowitz, etc. all show us you can beat up and kill anyone (Iraqis) for the shallowest of reasons and everyone, like sheep, will follow.