Boundaries
One of the toughest things I found since having children is setting boundaries and limits. In our house I have seen that being firm but giving some breathing room is the best, but it is not always the easiest.
It is so much easier to give into that child that is crying on the floor of a store because he wants a toy that you just told him he couldn’t have. You just want them to stop the crying/tantrum/yelling.
That is the easiest, but as we all know, because we have done it, not the best. That teaches them the behavior that they will always go to in order to get what they want. They know if they cry loud or long enough they will get the desired reaction out of you.
If you don’t have limits and boundaries children tend to grow up insecure and confused as to
which behavior is acceptable or necessary to get by.
Some parents don’t set limits because they were raised in a strict household and refuse to be that strict with their own children, therefore they go completely in the other direction: total freedom. Parents will be afraid to ruin the “friend” relationship with their child, but being a parent is their responsibility to the child, not a friend.
I think we can all agree children need certain limits placed on them and being either too lenient or too strict is not the answer.
As my children continue to push the rules and limits that are set on them, I will continue to reevaluate how important our rules really are and what is ok to let them get away with some of the time.
boundaries, toddlers, babies, parenting
October 16th, 2006 at 6:41 pm
Hi Erinn, I’m a friend of your Aunt Kathy. I enjoyed reading your column and plan to forward it to two of my neighbors who have little babies and, I’m sure, would enjoy any chance to hear that their experiences are not unique. There’s security in numbers! Good luck, I’ll continue to read your articles!
Maggie
October 16th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
Routine is so important for kids. They need boundaries so they know how to behave. When parents set them & stick with them most of the time, life is good for all!!
October 17th, 2006 at 3:20 pm
Hi
All children need boundaries.Your right it isn’t easy, but it will be worth it in the long run.Children learn young, and they don’t forget what works and what dosen’t.
Great job keep up the good work.
April 24th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
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